Spanking

[theLIBERTARIAN]

What is the best way to spank? Is it using a belt?

This is the way my dad did it. He would not use a belt, he would use his hand. He would make us pull down our pants. It did not matter where. He would make us bend over and hold our ankles. And then he would create the welt. If we stood up as he was spanking us we would get a second one. If we cried we would get a second one.

I asked him about it recently. He told me that it was important to bend over because if he hit the butt when the child was standing it could damage the spine of the child. He did not want to use a belt so that is why he pulled our pants down.

How do you spank your kids if you do?

[theLIBERTARIAN]

Also, what threshold do you need before you spank?

[Betty Nice]

Our daughter is too young, but I do believe in spanking. I wouldn't make a whole production out of it though. I would probably do it with pants on and standing.

My Dad use to hit us with a belt with his name stamped on it. It was a thick leather belt. That sh*t stung with clothes on. He stopped using it on me when I was around twelve....that's when I started laughing after he hit me, so he stopped punishing me like that all together. My Dad has this glare that he throws (use to).....it'll make anyone quiver. I luckily got that stare down pat.....so I don't have to spank my daughter yet.....and it works on the husband too.
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[aliaslezarddagain]

Bend er over and get er done..................r.e.a.l.....s.l.o.w......

I was talking about Betty Nice!

[Anti War]

[GOODave]

I do not spank, but I do "swat" because my (younger) kids are 2 and 4.

They both respond, basically, to knowing they have broken their fellowship with me (or their mom). A swat on the behind does it, a look does it, definitely "time out" does it...all at different thresholds.

For the defiance, it's a swat and a talk with me. For shouting or screaming, it's time out (up to 5 minutes...which KILLS the 4 year old, the 2 year old likes it...thinks it's fun ). Splashing water out of the bathtub gets the look.

I cannot imagine "beating" my kids; that would crush me (and them, no doubt). My dad was the disciplinarian in our family. He doled out the spanking with us over his lap and used his hand OR a belt (and our pants were up: No bare-butt spanks for us!

dave
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Now that he's president, if you question his tax policies, energy plans or health-care ambitions, you are “hoping he will fail” — and that, with the help of roundabout reasoning, is tantamount to hoping we cannot transcend race. -Jonah Goldberg, 8/20/09

[Fnord Fred]

Considering what a dismal failure spanking was for my parents, I wouldn't use it personally. Boredom is a much more powerful tool than pain when you're a kid.

[aliaslezarddagain]

[Jaded]

Spanking depends on the child, the offense, the intended result and how consistantly it is given.

I do believe in spanking, but I know the type of parent that I am. I know that the spanking is one of many tools that we use to train behavior. That is my end result; training. What makes it easy for me is that obedience was established immediately; from the cradle. That is something I could spend pages explaining and still not do it justice. Suffice it to say, my kids respond easily to discipline.

As for how to spank, I only know what worked for me.

1. A casual swat is a waste of time. If you are just trying to get their attention, a clap, snap or word can accomplish the same thing just as easily. By the time spanking is NECESARRY, getting their attention is moot.

2. My intent behind spanking is to make sure it never happens again. I probably spanked the kids a handful of times, but each and every time I hoped it was the last. To make it memorable, I made sure it hurt. Sorry. I know other people would not agree but I believe it is kinder to be harsh once and never address it again, than to be weak over and over and over again and never accomplish anything.

3. For my kids it was always bare bum, over the knee and with my bare hand. An open hand on the bum smarts and stings, but it does not cause lasting damage. It was short and to the point. They knew what they did. We all knew the consequences. There is time to talk about it but I don't think that is the best time.

4. Never ever ever ever ever spank a kid when you are angry. If you are angry, you might lose control and cause unintended damage. If the kid believes that you are responding in anger, he will believe that being physical is an acceptable response to anger. It isn't. The spanking is for the the offense, not the emotions.

5. I never apologized for spanking my kids. I apologize when I am wrong, but my actions did not result in the spanking. Theirs did. When all was said and done, they knew that.

Someone who does the same thing over and over again and expects different results is a fool. If spanking did not work, I would not have wasted my time with it.

[Fnord Fred]

You should be careful with rule #4 though: if you wait to cool down and THEN beat the crap out of your kids, there's a good chance they're going to have no clue what you want from them.

[Betty Nice]

[theLIBERTARIAN]

[Evil Ash]

My kids have plenty of leeway. I give them warnings (probably to many warnings if you ask me) and if it comes down to them deserving a spanking I'll chase them down and use my belt on their butts. If they get their hands in the way their hands get hit. In short if my kids actually reach the point where they need a spanking they get one and if they struggle they get it worse. You have to mean what you say when it comes to kids. Its for their own good.
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There are no mistakes made on the way to the inevitable - Me

[djac75]

I agree with the article. I was raised with spankings and they never hurt me except the temporary way they were intended to. Deep down, kids want their parents to be unapologetically in charge of them and sometimes that involves having to bend over and take a spanking. Better that than to turn out to be undisciplined brats and later, undisciplined adults.

[theLIBERTARIAN]